I—am—so—ready—to—get—the—hell—outta—here.

I suppose it depends on one’s intentions as to how to go about your SXSW experience. For example, mine has always been to get something to post here, be it audio or video or photos or whatever. The second year I attended I had live webcasting capabilities – and for the most part – it was my most successful (and fun) year.

This year has been an even bigger ass-whipping than last year. Clubs are painfully jam-packed. The streets are painfully jam-packed. Wanna hop in the car and go to another part of town? Fergetaboutit. We are trapped inside this 4th to 7th street hell.

And the posers….ooooooooh the posers. You can definitely tell the difference between a person who is truly a shake-and-baker in the industry versus the idiots who think they’s all that. The latter, no matter where they be, will blather on AS LOUDLY AS POSSIBLE into their cell-phones or Blue Tooth thingies, name-dropping like nobody’s bidness and/or making statements such as, “listen I gotta run, I’m on the VIP list for *insert hipster rag or label* and I’m running late from the VIP party for *insert hipster rag or label* and the only reason I was late to that party was because I was at the *insert hipster rag or label* party…” – and they are saying this AS LOUDLY AS POSSIBLE. Ugh.

Even the best laid plans tend to turn to stinkin’ poop. Yesterday I had perfect timing after the Mike Damron set at Headhunter’s, my next stop was the Fat Caddy Records showcase at the Molotov Lounge. Macon Greyson, check! Black Water Gospel, check! Austin Collins, check! The Molotov Lounge, nada. I walked and I walked and I walked and I walked. I asked and I asked and I asked and I asked. Nobody had ever heard of the Molotov Lounge. There was an entirely different bar sitting at the address given for said Molotov Lounge. Crap.

Last night around 6ish, I loaded up my stuff and had well intended to get audio/video of Eisley and Mute Math. I was met by 30 mile an hour winds upon leaving the hotel – followed by 30-million drunks stumbling about the closed-off streets. I got about halfway there, realized the audio would suck due to the outside stage and the wind force – and after the 5th drunk tripped over my camera stand – I turned back. Eff it, I’ll catch the bands in some other city.

My SXSW intentions don’t a fun time make. Oh yeah….and there’s that little realization that I’m like 70 years old and aint’ what I used to be.

Now the girl-child on the other hand – the girl-child is, and I quote, “having the best time of my entire life!” “I love Austin!” “I love SXSW!” She’s seen nearly every band she wanted to see, plus a few she didn’t. She’s had her high school buds down here to keep her company. Plus, the entire streets are cram-packed with 18-21 year olds. Who the hell else is going to stand in line at Emo’s for up to 2 hours? She did. And she loved every minute of it, God love her.

On a good note though, this has been great for my dieting efforts. I’ve had a grand total of 2 meals since we arrived on Wednesday – make that 3 counting the half-a-hotdog I devoured at Jo’s Coffee on Thursday. Grand total of times I’ve been drunk or even slightly tipsy – 0. My liver thanks you SXSW.

So today I’m going to find a show and plant my ass. I can assure you that it will be far, far far away from 6th street, being that SXSW is now combined with freakin’ St. Patrick’s Day.

I’m mulling over the following:

Strategies of Beauty
1:00 Fires Were Shot
1:45 Benko
2:30 Mom
3:15 Shiny Around the Edges
4:00 My Education
4:45 Wooden Shjips
5:30 Suishou no Fune
6:15 The Zanzibar Snails
7:00 Hotel, Hotel
7:45 Notes from Underground

Solo Rock Singers Breakin’ from the Rock Stage
1:00 – Marcus Striplen (Pleasant Grove)
2:00 – Robert Gomez
3:00 – Justin Rice (Student Film)
4:00 – Mark Ferrino (Black Before Red)
5:00 – Mitch Billeaud (The Lemurs)
6:00 – Special Guest TBA

Love on the Lawn
Rachel Loy (Austin, TX) 1-1:40
Wendy Colonna (Austin, TX) 1:50-2:30
Drew Smith (Austin, TX) 2:40-3:20
Shelley King (Austin, TX) 3:30-4:10
Brian Keane (Austin, TX) 4:20-5:00
Lisa Richards (Austin, TX/Australia) 5:10-5:50
Suzanna Choffel (Austin, TX) 6:00-6:40
Guy Forsyth (Austin, TX) 6:50-7:30
Kristy Kruger (LA/Dallas) 7:40-8:20
Ginger Leigh (Austin, TX) 8:30-9:10
The Hormonauts (Italy) 9:20-10:00

SXSJ at Jo’s Coffee
2:00 – Pines
3:00 – The Small Stars
4:00 – Blackwater Gospel
5:00 – The Summer Wardrobe
6:00 – Brothers and Sisters
7:00 – Amy Cook
8:00 – What Made Milwaukee Famous
9:00 – Apostle of Hustle

Twangfest at Jovita’s
12:00 Two Cow Garage (acoustic set)
12:30 Cary Hudson
1:30 Finn’s Motel
2:30 Waterloo
3:30 Alela Diane
4:30 Monahans (featuring members of Milton Mapes)